Quotes From Musicals

Okay, so I’m going to try to keep this one going this time. The quotes are going to be in alphabetical order by the title of the musical. There will be funny, inspirational, and just plain brilliant quotes. Check back every once in a while to see if I’ve added more!! (Obviously since the page just started, there’s not that many musicals on here yet. [In fact, there's only 3!] But I promise there’s more to come, and I’ve tried to put a lot from the 3.)

ALL SHOOK UP

• Warden: “All right, boy, I gotta let ya go now. But I’m hopin’ a week in the slammer taught you a lesson – no more ridin’ into my town, playin’ that music, excitin’ our women. We don’t like our women excited! So now you get on your bike and get. Oh, but one more thing. I, uh, promised I’d give you this note. It’s from my daughter. And, uh, here’s one from my wife. And my mother.”
• Natalie: “Could you hand me that rag?”
  Chad: “Ain’t this like a dress?”
  Natalie: “I always say why wear a dress when you can use it to clean an engine?”
• Chad: “I dig hot women, and I dig hot art. And when I see a hot woman that digs hot art, I say hot diggity!”
• Chad: “Just shake it.”
• Chad: “Now move that pelvis!”
• Chad & Jim (from the song “Don’t Be Cruel”): “Cool!”
• Miss Sandra: “Quote Shakespeare and peel me like a banana!”
• Dennis: “Hey, Miss Sandra! Have you seen my best friend, Chad?”
  Miss Sandra: “By Chad, do you mean that guitar-playing caveman with the libido of an Italian soccer team?”
• From the song “The Power Of My Love”: “Baby, I want you; you’ll never get a way. My love will haunt you, haunt you night and day. Crush it, break it, punch it, kick it, burn it, pound it. What good does it do? There’s just no stoppin’ the way I feel for you.”
• From the song “If I Can Dream”: “Deep in his heart, there’s a tremblin’ question. Still I am sure that the answer’s gonna come somehow, out there in the dark. There’s a beckoning candle, and while I can think! While I can talk! While I can stand! While I can walk! If I can dream.”
• Chad: “Lady, I been to plenty of towns, and there’s always someone like you, bullyin’ people into buyin’ your version of what life should be! But I gotta say – you got an amazing little town here! There’s something special about you folks. I mean, ever since I arrived, you all been fallin’ stupid in love like it’s nobody’s business. Even me. Yeah, I met the greatest person here, and I fell head-over-heels in a way I never thought possible – How you doin’, Ed? Anyway, you know what I want now? I want what these two kids have. I mean, look at ‘em – they’re so much in love, they’re willing to risk everything to be together. So lady, you can call it indecent, but I call it the most decent thing I ever did see.”
• Earl: “Matilda, just shut up.”
  Matilda: “Earl, did you… speak?”
• Earl: “I haven’t agreed with a damn thing you’ve said in fifteen years.”
  Matilda: “Then why have you followed me around for all this time?”
  Earl: Because I’m in love with you. That’s right. You’re a strong, domineering, unreasonable woman. You remind me of my mother.”
• Chad: “And it was all ’cause of you. You’re my music now, Natalie.”
• Natalie: “You see, I met this great guy.”
  Chad: “Yeah, me.”
  Natalie: “No – Ed. And I miss him, too. He was so confident and strong – he became your best buddy, Miss Sandra fell in love with him… he was something else.”
  Chad: “Well, maybe once in a while you could put on the beard and hat and we can both hang out with him?”
  Natalie: “Anyway, now that my dad’s marrying Sylvia, I’m thinkin’ – what would Ed do? And the thing is – Ed wouldn’t just sit around. So you know what – I’m gonna tune up my motorbike and hit the open road. I’m sorry, Dad -”
  Jim: “Nothin’ to be sorry about, sweetheart.”
  Natalie: “So you see, Chad, instead of marryin’ you, I’m gonna follow my dream.”
• From the song “Burning Love”: “Your kisses lift me higher like the sweet song of a choir. You fill my morning sky with burning love!”

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF

• Tevye: “Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as…. as a fiddler on the roof!”
• Tzeitel: “But mama, the men she finds! The last one was so old, and he was bald. He had no hair!”
  Golde: “A poor girl with dowry can’t be so particular. You want hair? Marry a monkey!”
• Tevye: “As the good book says, when a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick.”
  Mendel: “And where does it say that?”
  Tevye: “Well, it doesn’t say that exactly, but somewhere it says something about a chicken!”
• Tevye: “As Abraham said, ‘I am a stranger in a strange land…’”
  Mendel: “Moses said that.”
  Tevye: “Ah. Well, as King David said, ‘I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.’”
  Mendel: “That was also Moses.”
  Tevye: “For a man who was slow of tongue, he talked a lot.
• Perchik: “Money is the world’s curse.”
  Tevye: “Then let the lord smite me with it. And may I never recover!”
• Perchik: “Your daughter has a quick and witty tongue.”
  Tevye: “The wit she gets from me. As the good book says -”
  Golde: “The good book can wait; it’s time for Sabbath.”
  Tevye: “The tongue she gets from her mother.”
• From the song “To Life”: “And if our good fortune never comes, here’s to whatever comes.”
• Tevye: “If I may say so, it’s too bad you’re not a Jew.”
• Perchik: “Who will dance with me?”
• Hodel: “I think… you are asking me to marry you.”
  Perchik: “In a theoretical sense, yes I am.”
  Hodel: “I was hoping you were.”
• Tevye: “Did Adam and Eve have a matchmaker? Why yes, they did. And it seems these two have the same matchmaker.”
• From the song “Far From The Home I Love”: “How can I hope to make you understand, why I do what I do? Why I must travel to a distant land, far from the home I love. Once I was happily content to be, as I was, where I was. Close to the people who are close to me, here in the home I love. Who could see that a man would come, who would change the shape of my dreams? Helpless now, I stand with him, watching older dreams grow dim. Oh, what a melancholy choice this is, wanting home, wanting him… Closing my heart to every hope but his, leaving the home I love. There where my heart has settled long ago, I must go, I must go. Who could imagine I’d be wandering so far from the home I love. Yet… there with my love, I’m home.”

INTO THE WOODS

• Jack: “My mother would-”
  Mysterious Man: “You’d be lucky to exchange her for a sack of beans!”
• Cinderella: “Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.”
• Mysterious Man: “When I first appear, I seem delirious. But when explained, I am nothing serious.”
• Baker’s Wife: “If the end is right, it justifies the beans!”
• From the song “Hello Little Girl”: “There’s no possible way to describe what you feel when you’re talking to your meal!”
• From the song “On The Steps Of The Palace”: “Now it’s he and not you who is stuck with the shoe… in a stew… in the goo… and you’ve learned something too… on the steps of the palace!”
• Baker’s Wife: “Please! I need that shoe to have a child!”
• From the song “Agony”: “Agony! Oh the torture they teach! What’s so intriguing or half so fatiguing as what’s out of reach?”
• From the song “It Takes Two”: “We’ve changed. We’re strangers. I’m meeting you in the woods. Who minds? What dangers? I know we’ll get past the woods. And once we’re past, lets’ hope the changes last beyond woods, beyond witches and slippers and hoods. Just the two of us – beyond lies, safe at home with out beautiful prize, just the few of us!”
• Baker: “Do you think it was a bear?”
  Witch: “A bear? No, bears are sweet. Besides, you ever see a bear with forty-foot feet?”
  Baker’s Wife: “A dragon?”
  Witch: “No scorch marks. Usually they’re linked.”
  Baker: “Manticore?”
  Witch: “Imaginary.”
  Baker’s Wife: “Gryphon?”
  Witch: “Extinct.”
  Baker: “Giant?”
  Witch: “Possible. Very, very possible.”
• Cinderella’s Stepmother: “When going to hide, know how to get there.”
  Cinderella’s Father: “And how to get back.”
  Lucinda & Florinda: “And eat first.”
• Narrator: “You need an objective observer to pass the story along.”
  Witch: “Some of us don’t like the way you’ve been telling it.”
• Cinderella’s Prince: “I was raised to be charming – not sincere.”
• Witch: “Would you like a blind girl instead?”
  Cinderella’s Stepmother: “How dare you!”
  Witch: “Put them out of their misery!”
  Lucinda & Florinda: “We’re not that miserable!”
• From the song “No More”: “We disappoint, we disappear, we die, but we don’t. They disappoint in turn, I fear. Forgive, though, they won’t. No more riddles. No more jests. No more curses you can’t undo, left by fathers you never knew. No more quests. No more feelings. Time to shut the door. Just.. No more. Running away, let’s do it. Free from the ties that bind. No more despair, or burdens to bear, out there in the yonder. Running away, go to it. Where did you have in mind? Have to take care.. unless there’s a ‘where’, you’ll only be wandering blind. Just more questions… different kind.”
• From the song “No One Is Alone: “Witches can be right; giants can be good. You decide what’s right; you decide what’s good. Just remember, someone is on your side. Someone else is not. While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot: they are not alone. No one is alone.”
• Little Red Riding Hood: “I’ll be your mother now, Jack!”